Sinning The Sins-Star Wars-OT

Share on Facebook
Post to Google Buzz
Bookmark this on Yahoo Bookmark
Share on FriendFeed
Bookmark this on Delicious
Share on StumbleUpon
Share on reddit
Share on LinkedIn

I pretty much live my life by Cinema Sins-everyone knows what the fuck that is so I won’t bother beating around the bush as to what we’re talking about. I laugh my ass off at a lot of things in movies that I completely agree are sins-although lately they’ve moved from flat out mistakes to plot inconsistencies, bad logic, and excessive exaggeration to get a laugh. The first two are fine-the last is a sin in itself.

When it comes to the Holy Septology however (and yes, either they’re all part of it or none are. Debate the quality all you want, but they are one very long story broken into parts, so “HOLY TRILOGY” is just elitist posturing) I can’t sit too still when you’re tearing it apart. So here goes the TechJedi Rebuttal of Cinema Sins “Everything wrong with (all) Star Wars Movies” (Prequels coming soon)

All these commentaries should be read while watching along with the given Sins Video, cause otherwise these posts would take six weeks to get through-and reading them standalone doesn’t work as they are direct responses to the sins, every one of them-so it is easy to get lost. Additionally, watch Cinema Sins stuff as often as you can, they’re goddamned funny.

A NEW HOPE

The first problem with the video is that fat assed blowhard and self styled mouthpiece of a lost and whiny generation Kevin Smith throws his 2 cents in, and they’re not even close to funny.

Stormtroopers are bad shots cliche is cliche.

They’re integral to the plot, you can’t kill them. (maiming is fine)

Who gives a fuck how Vader chokes someone Kevin, he’s being intimidating. Be funnier. First of never ending sex jokes that just ain’t fuckin funny.

You have to disable a ship before you can capture it. He asks for passengers, not military personnel. Not a sin.

Prometheus school is Prometheus.

Droids don’t really count as passengers. Half a thought when realizing there’s no continuing fire either makes you think they were stray shots. Not as Sinny as you think.

Good point about the escape pod, but who cares?

Kevin, there’s a military concept called “fire discipline”. I’m sure your wife is disappointed by yours all the time.

Escape pod dialog is a valid sin regarding how many.

Only if they were actually tracked on the way down.

Plot convenience is convenient. It’s not JJ convenient, so who cares.

“…dump off loads of Jawas to hide…” Well sure. It fucking worked, didn’t it?

CGI Riding-Lizard is Lizard. I mean superfluous. Fine.

An actual technical sin for once. Yes, someone skipped the tracks. Good Call.

Droid-crumbs. Who cares? Not a Sin.

Robot Roll Call works fine. It’s funny. I like it.

Owen got caught up. He needed a translator anyway, so he kept talking to 3PO. What’s the big deal? not a Sin.

Kevin Smith is only there to talk about dicks and run Gay Jokes. Yes the acting is poor. That’s a sin. Arcturian joke is forced.

R5’s convenient break down is convenient-a mild tension building moment.

So if you buy something from a flea market you don’t get mad if you’ve been fleeced? You just walk away with a hearty “Oh those marketeers!” Not a Sin.

T-16s weren’t for sale for 20 full years. What, you never fucking fiddled with something idly?

More crappy sex jokes. C’mon Kevin. Choose life.

You make a lot of assumptions about what a whiny teenager in “the farthest part of the galaxy” knows about Galactic Politics. All he knows is he hates the Empire.

C’mon Kevin. How the fuck do you know “Kenobi” isn’t just “Smith”? And what’s the real problem here?

Why is that even remotely a problem? It’s a simple story  telling device. There’s nothing wrong to hit there.

The apparent light should probably be higher, yeah, but the rest is made up unfunny garbage.

Ok, fine. Silence is golden.

Racism is bad.

Plot convenience is convenient. I’ll hand it to you, I never thought a landspeeder would need a copilot.

Ok, That’s funny with the no life forms.

Reverse job is terrible, I grant you. You’re pushing it with the knock out job though. The one end can clearly be turned for a blunt blow.

Half truths are True.

You didn’t really add anything to it all by reiterating the last comment and just being unfunny, Kev.  Enough with the sex jokes.

You’re pushing it Kev. It’s clear where the sabre was pointed. Unfunny.

It’s pointless for Obi-Wan to mention midi chlorians-even setting aside that they wouldn’t be invented for 20 years real time. Just pointless. Why would it help, and therefor, why is this a sin?

Pushing a little with the sex offender joke, but it actually matches the dialog better than anything Kevin Smith has said so far.

Sigh. Keep hitting that sister motif. We’ll get it into our heads one day.

Vader doesn’t actually HAVE a position in the Imperial military that’s made clear. Why wouldn’t a General challenge him? It wouldn’t be established that Vader straight up murders motherfuckers on his own side out of hand till next movie.

“Left one minute after the droids” exaggeration is exaggerated.

The framing comment is straight up not thinking. A military that didn’t have a database of indigenous peoples wouldn’t be much fucking good, and hey, let’s keep the secret mission to recover the secret plans to the secret battlestation secret, mmkay?

Stormtrooper accuracy cliche is cliche. At this point in the flick, there’s nothing to dispute it.

You have one point, Kev. It’s a good point. Why wouldn’t the Stormtroopers stay and apprehend Luke and the droids? It’s never clear. It’s a good plot hole, so to speak. But the rest of this lunacy? It’s idiotic and unfunny.

What’s the point of the similarity between the interrogation droid and the DS? Pointless. Why bother? How’s it a sin?

Leia has a particularly strong will, obviously. She’s the Martin Riggs of fucking SPACE, MAN.

Scavengers. Disease. You got time to go find a bunch of Jawas and explain the whole thing? No? Whatevs.

What options? All he owns is in that speeder. There’s nothing there says he has any dough in the bank or anything. You’re just making up this other options routine.

He did cry on the way. What’s blubbering on screen gonna do?

I have to trust you on Gary Indiana.

“Phantom Menace in my New Hope” is valid.

3PO is racist. I agree. At very least Classist.

No Lap Dance is Valid.

Satan and “That’s Bassist” are valid.

Racist comeuppance is comeuppance.

Extra CGI is valid.

Be funnier Kev. It’s valid, but you really, really are not adding a goddamned thing here.

Jabba’s tail is valid.

Backseat driver is valid, but a sin?

Also, your mom joke.

Exaggerated firing sequence is exaggerated.

Chess figure is defeated. It’s chess, not an RPG.

Hey, bright boy, is it that complex? The Force obeys your commands-if your command is to make your arm faster in a block, it’s gonna do that. What’s so difficult here? No Sin.

Bad judgments made solely on visual evidence don’t help. Get used to thinking about things and letting the Force augment your perceptions. No Sin.

He is, look at the screen.

Luke blocked three times. Once might be lucky. Twice would be extraordinarily Powerball Winning Lucky. 3x times is The Force.

Bad dubbing is bad. Sin validated.

Unwarranted delay in execution is unwarranted. Sin Validated.

Eh. So it’s lucky. Big deal. No Sin.

Yes, plot convenience is convenient. Sin validated with caveat. Where was the DS gonna go?

Range is a sin.

You’re skipping an important detail-They *DIDN’T* expect to find her in the Death Star. They expected Alderaan. No mention of the DS’ location or existence has been made to them. Vader never says rescue her, he says return the plans-which would fit with going to Alderaan. You’re pushing it for the sake of just having a sin here.

You just really aren’t thinking Kev. Han and Chewie wouldn’t be very good smugglers if the compartments weren’t scan shielded right? Thinking for half a damn second says the compartments are shielded somehow. The how itself is irrelevant. It’s obvious. Do Something Funny.

“Since…” when is irrelevant. People let sentences drop off in everyday conversations all the time. No Sin.

Timing for the Stormtroopers leaving the Falcon and unhiding the group is valid.

You’re half valid, Kev. Being boarded is a lot more likely to get you caught doing something then simply giving a ship the once over. Stop going back to the dick joke well. Also, try just one more motherfucking time with the “first day on the job” jokes. I’m sure it will get funny at some point. Repetition is the soul of comedy, right?

Eww, fan fiction joke. Eww. Additionally, it’s pretty obvious the droids were with Obi Wan.

Stormtrooper critique is half valid. They would have been useful, but believe me, a soldier doesn’t hang around anywhere when he could be fucking off somewhere else.

Back to the shielding on the compartments. Which is easily defeatable with your “technology we have in 2015. ”

Blaster fire is validated. Stormtrooper armor size convenience is convenient.

Can’t debate Luke’s ability to Sin.

Ugh. More dick jokes. Yes, it’s convenient. But think for half a minute-USB, MOTHERFUCKER.

Pronoun game is irritating. Sin Validated.

Boner power is all-power. Sin Validated, with caveat. Otherwise, movie ends here.

Jovial seems to be speculation. No Sin.

Stormtrooper accuracy cliche is inverted, but there’s a lot of stuff to hit, so exaggerated. No Sin.

Silly Sin. Not a Sin.

Bad tactics are bad. Sin Validated.

Compactor sin is sinful. Validated. Drop a thermal detonator down there-and end the movie here.

Stretching credulity is not a sin.

Timing Sin is sinful. Kevin Smith attempt at humor Sinful.

Speculation is speculating. The scene clearly features the sound of a hatch the Dianoga leaves by. Lost in 18 inches of water sin is sinful. Validated.

Standard movie mistake not reshot mistake sin is validated.

Stormtroopers are gullible. Sin Validated-with Caveat-Stormtroopers sent to find the Droids would have been from the Star Destroyer, and there is no valid reason to think Death Star ST’s would ever know there were droids to look for.

Compactor speed sin is sinful. Validated.

Scared Stormtroopers are a sin-kinda. The see 4 ppl all with weapons and in 1 second they lose a guy. Tactical withdrawal is not necessarily a sin.

Wil-Storm-Helm-Trooper is funny as fuck.

Badassery is valid.

“No!” validated.

A gesture of compassion is reduced to simply environmental concern. No Sin.

She was in the pilot seat. At very least she monitored systems, maybe even adjusted them. Reaching for a sin is reaching!

Exaggerating for a sin is exaggerating. No “everyone on the Death Star” needed to be coordinated. Just the teams from the general area. It would make even less sense to waste time informing squads from several dozen decks away as to what’s happening near a random docking bay. No Sin.

Han’s overconfidence is noted-but why would he think a homing beacon could have a range of several, if not hundreds, of star systems? Seems reasonable, if ill-informed on his part. No Sin.

Mispronunciation of established name is Sinful.

Sin Validated jinxing the mission.

Tractor beam Sin may be valid-easily hand waved by fighters being too fast to lock onto, especially during dogfghting. Sin INCONCLUSIVE.

Porkins’ name sin VALIDATED. Just call him BIG FAT GUY THAT BARELY FITS IN THE COCKPIT.

Overconfidence sin on Tarkin is Validated.

TIE Fighter cannon tracking is Sinful.
Redundant sin validates previous sin. Going back to the well is Sinful.

Pointless sin is pointless.

Kevin Smith just can’t pass up a jizz joke-and it’s seriously disgusting.

Why is the sin not a sin though? Parallel shots are parallel-concurrent-not sequential. Typical movie storytelling method. The firing sequence is happening *as* Luke is sighting in the final time. Not before.

Oh Look, a blowjob joke about Mewes. Oh That Smith.

I’ve seen this scene more than a hundred times. I’ve never heard it as “Carrie”. It could be. Sin acceptable.

Letting Smith get in the Last Sin is Sinful. I agree that Chewie needs his medal, but GODDAMN IT SMITH, SAY ONE FUCKING FUNNY THING IN THIS VIDEO YOU FAT FUCK.

Also, so you read an old book at one point. Nice way to make yourself seem brighter than you come off.

Stay tuned for all the other Sins, Sinned.

cause otherwise these posts would take six weeks to get through.

A NEW HOPE

 

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

Yes, it’s a connected series. Not a Sin.

Kinda funny but, what for? Just a placeholder sin.

What? What are you even talking about? I went back over this 4 times to understand it. The word “win” is not in here. Superfluous sin.

Who said they were indigenous? It follows but your own rule of “only what happens on screen counts is being violated. Also, it’s a big goddamned galaxy.

Sin Validated. convenience is convenient.

You expect horses in other galaxies? Not a Sin.

Rudolph’s snowman funny. Thank you. Sin Validated.

The planet itself is the Wampa’s refrigerator, but why risk early freezing solid when it’s dinnertime? Not a Sin.

SO not a sin. Leia is indeed hot.

Who cares? Aren’t there allowed to be different models of protocol droid? Not a Sin.

Semi valid point-we don’t know what they’re talking about, but it’s irrelevant, since he’s made his decision anyway. No Sin.

They found him in one place, they can find him in another. It’s a matter of time. Not a Sin. Paying off Jabba is the ONE way to stay alive.

3PO is a protocol droid. It would know interactions like that for they’re meaning. Not a Sin.

Which is irrelevant, because it’s never mentioned how well they’re working. Anything could be malfunctioning, but only the speeders are relevant to this scene. Not A Sin.

Weird, but who cares? Why is it bad? Not a Sin to store your meals.

The blood observation is relevant though. Sin Validated.

Lightsabre distance Sin is valid. Effort to get the sabre back Sin is not. He’s been hurt. Everything takes more effort when injured.

Amputation Sin is Valid.

Luke’s in a panic. Not a Sin.

Indomitable Will is not a Sin, just hard.

Hypothermia is a real concern, but obviously his gear is really good. They can fly through hyperspace, they should be able to stay toasty. Not A Sin.

Timing is a Sin, with Caveat-if Obi-Wan doesn’t get him motivated NOW, movie ends.

Dagobah is racist joke works better than nearly every other pun in this series. Funny, but not a Sin.

Timing Sins are always bad. There’s never a good way to explain why something didn’t happen sooner. Validated.

Finding people/Things Sins are always valid, but what else could be done?

The phrase “Tauntaun Ex Machina validates itself.

Tauntaun belly sin is Sinful.

Skipped RIGHT OVER the very clear and obvious dialog about the shelter. Exaggerating and obfuscating to get the Sin.

Semi valid Sin. Could have to do with visual pick up of the targets. Could start a whole argument on that. Not *necessarily* a Sin.

Funny, but Not a Sin.

Who cares? He’s got the body for it. Not a Sin.

Nice comment, but friends frequently laugh at digs on other friends. Not a Sin.

Just get over the whole brother sister thing already. They didn’t know, and it’s silly. The Sin would be if they kept it up.

Chewie is right, but No Sin.

Skips over obvious development that the speeders have been brought up to operational conditions. The initial assessment was “trouble adapting them to the cold” not “At night they don’t work at all”. Since they were rescued by speeders, obviously this shortcoming was overcome-additionally, there is nothing on screen says this is happening at night-indeed, the next scene makes it very clear it’s all day. NO SINS HERE.

Well, yeah, ok, what’s the point? Reaching for a sin is reaching.

Feel The Force, motherfucker. This wasn’t some overconfident assumption. It seems odd that he needed a trigger for The Force to reveal Luke’s location, but it doesn’t seem Sin-worthy to me.

Sounds like a good question initially, but Vader should reasonably be able to assume someone that got to Admiral rank knew how to conduct operations like this. He didn’t so offputting but No Sin. Additionally, how would sneaking up on them from a larger distance help? Eventually the sensors would detect the Empire when in range, so sneaking up from a larger distance just wastes time. You sinned the wrong Sin here, my man.

Overconfidence Sin is validated.

Aerial Assault Sin validated, but slipping sin not.

Incredibly odd equipment sin validated. What?

Breaches in the damaged neck of the Walker obviously exploited. Results overblown, but eh. No Sin.

Birthing Sin funny, but Not a Sin.

Ku Klux Stormtrooper funny, but Not a Sin.

He’s strapped in and landed in 4 feet of snow. So yeah, he’s ok. Not a Sin.

Obviously not all of it can be straight up snow. Somewhere along the line the snow will compact to ice, and have more structurally integrity. Reaching for a Sin is Sinful.

Valid question, but Not a Sin-Luke obviously took the path through the disabled Star Destroyers’ section. Like we already saw. Not paying attention Sin is a Sin.

Taking off calmly is boring. Not a Sin.

Vader’s inaction and inattention to the Force is valid.

Using a Sin over again is a Sin. Reference blockade hole made by ion cannon-also, transports, which would carry the rebel high command, very clearly take precedence over one fighter.

Star Destroyer Collision SIN IS A MOTHERFUCKING SIN. Jesus that has always bugged me.

Leia is very obviously piloting. Cmon. Not a Sin.

Or the movie ends here Sin. So not a Sin.

Funny comment, but not a Sin. If R2 had actually been eaten, you would have sinned organic creatures that eat metal. Reaching for Sins is Sinning.

R2 is seen operating in the vacuum of space. Why should sludge hurt him? Not a Sin.

Funny comment, but Not a Sin.

Previous information given Sin Validated.

Sin validated.

Survival rations ain’t pretty, baby, no matter the Galaxy. Not a Sin.

Hiding your true self Sin validated.

No shithead, it’s HOW the hyperdrive is damaged.  Not a Sin.

SIN VALIDATED.

How does it matter? We don’t see the hologram projectors here. So what? Not a Sin.

It’s already been shown that everything that was Anakin was burned away. Spiritually, ethically, emotionally, psychologically. It’s not weird at all. No Sin.

Espionage should have provided Luke’s name, yes. Sin Validated.

Again with the ‘he kept is name” routine. How do you think the Empire is gonna find 2 insignificant people in the entire goddamned galaxy? Fucking Tax Records? Not a fucking Sin.

Dumb reveal is dumb. Sin Validated.

This is a completely valid point. What was he to focus on? Why wouldn’t he look away? You expected Owen and Beru to teach him humility and contentment? Sin FUCKING VALIDATED.

This whole sequence is very obviously a psychological evaluation of Luke’s discipline and commitment. Neither Yoda nor Obi-Wan ever had any intention of not training him. Only a Sin when taken as Yoda being completely serious about not training Luke, a powerful Force user, and letting him find his own way, which couldn’t help but be disastrous. Very obviously not the case. Not a Sin, but it sure looks like one.

Good question. and why would something as small relatively speaking as the Falcon be satisfying? Sin Validated.

Sin validated. A lot of later questions as to the corruptive abilities of the Dark Side could have been avoided with an expanded scene here.

Fictional geography frequently has places set aside where evil dwells. it’s no big deal. Not a Sin.

Noodle baking is valid, but doesn’t set up any surprises for later. Good question, but not a Sin.

Not so sure I’ve seen this enough for it to be confidently ruled a cliche. Not a Sin.

Set piece really wasn’t necessary here. Not a Sin.

Symbolism only a Sin when too heavy handed. Not so here.

Luke being a dumbass is not necessarily a Sin.

See A New Hope-You Have to Disable Before Capture. Presumably the gunners and officers are monitoring the Falcons shields. Not a Sin

Reaching for a sin is reaching.

At first blush this is a sin, but Force use still takes effort, and the motherfucker is still 900 years old.

Sin off.

3PO is not exactly a tactical mastermind. He’s a nervous interpreter. Not a Sin.

The Star Destroyers are already dozens of light-years away, in another dimension. Aside from the unlucky development of Boba Fett being smarter, there is NO reason to wait. Not a Sin.

it’s not a sin to not see something if you’re not looking.

That’s a comment, and a fine point, but hardly a Sin.

Funny as hell, and along the lines of the “no lapdance” sins. Validated.

they’re obviously worried about psychological damage Luke might experience with that bombshell. They’re reticent and a little dumb, but a sin? Eh. Maybe.

Good point. but how could they risk that? Ex Post Facto Sins are Ex Post Facto.

This is again a good point, and worth considering, but Not a Sin.

Threepaway is funny. But Not a Sin.

There is a resemblance. but not much of a connection otherwise. No Sin.

Oh, give it up with the shot first shit already, will ya? This is beyond badass. NO FUCKING SIN.

Skipping dialog that explains the Sin is a SIN. “All points along their last known trajectory.” Space is a lot of empty. There couldn’t have been too many places they could have gone-and here’s the kicker about THAT: without lightspeed, travel between solar systems takes a REALLY FUCKING LONG TIME. the Empire would have been completely capable of being found by, then informed by Fett, and the hyperspace to the correct system.

Reaching for a Sin is Sinning.

You’re telling me you want to see Han tortured? Not a Sin.

Porn dialog is funny. Not a Sin though.

3PO being a douche is valid.

“No” is not a Sin *here*. It’s in Wookie, he could be screaming FUCK YOU VADER, IMA TAKE THIS OUT ON YO ASS”

Walt Disney is funny, but Not a Sin. Reaching for a Sin is Sinful.

Close off passages, close the streets, blockade things. Why is this a question? Not a Sin.

Skipping over well known tech in the franchise is just reaching for a sin. repulsors are everywhere. Reaching for a Sin is Sinful.

iLando is funny. Not a Sin though-if he had gone with Lobot ex Machina, that would have worked.

Traps walked into because the hero has no other options don’t seem to be a Sin.

Sure. Not a Sin.

It’s hard to trust a motherfucker just sent away your new boyfriend and heterointerspecies lifemate. However, “we don’t need any of your help” is invalid. Sin Validated.

Sin Validated.

Well, convenience is convenient, not so much a cliche. Validated.

This is a very valid point-Anakin trained under Ben-and it’s never established however what Palpatine told Vader about Yoda’s defeat. However, Vader DID know that Luke and Ben came to the Death Star together, without Yoda, so this is both a Sin and Not a Sin. He couldn’t have assumed a 880 year old whatever Yoda could have lasted this long. A safe assumption was Yoda dying of old age long ago. Not A Sin.

Good point about the fight in ANH. I can’t think of a good reason not to Sin this.

Well, not yet. Qui-Gon gets it this way,. but that is not within the scope of the first 3. Pretty Sinnable.

Yes, back to the Obi-Wan didn’t bother well. Sure, Sin it. but stop givin’ stink eye to the rest of the heard at this well, mmkay?

Nope, no bullshit explanation. None at all really. It’s been covered in the previous film, if incompletely. No Sin.

Anguished “No” explanation is funny, but not Sinnable

No is not Sinnable.

This takes a mere couple seconds thought. He CLEARLY used the force to find the vent. What happens after is kinda off, so Sin? not really.

Antenna Ex Machina is Sinnable.

*I* could tell it from this distance. Reaching for a Sin is reaching.

It’s quick isn’t it? Yes, it’s quick. But they’re having telepathy right now, so is it a stretch that Luke is saying, “Jesus, ok, This is Real.” No Sin.

Funny comment and very aware of storytelling, but hardly a Sin.

Yes, they have hyperdrive. But it’s not a drag race. it’s another dimension. They ain’t following. Tha’ts been established in the other flicks and earlier in this one. Plus, how the fuck do they end the flick if the chase is on? No Sin.

Yes, there’s a few ships. But while it is undefined that Hoth is or is not their only base, it would seem imprudent that the entire fleet was there. Besides, if the whole fleet was there, why would they worry about a mere three destroyers and a Command Ship? Logic says the fleet was not there, and this is at least in part the fleet they were meeting ant the rendezvous. No Sin.

RETURN OF THE JEDI

Reading. Ugh. Not a Sin at this short a sentence.

Yo Wook, I heard you like Death Stars so we put a Death Star in your system yo. Sin Validated.

What did they want, genetically engineered Pig Guards? Unreasonable expectations for costumes are unreasonable. No Sin.

“Spinal Wrapped Penis Head” is hilarious. I endorse it. But Not a Sin.

Different Jabba Visual is different. Fine. Sin Validated.

Is Green Swamp Heroin like Blue Sky Meth? Reaching for it. Not a Sin.

Exposition is Exposition. Sin Validated.

3PO is a ridiculous nervous type. Not knowing the plan though is Not a Sin-what if Jabba’s droid crew poked around his memory? Smart move for once. Not a Sin.

Droid torture is utterly ridiculous and even at 11 I knew it was horseshit. SIN VALIDATED.

HEIL HITLER SPIDER-MAN is hilarious, but irrelevant, so No Sin.

Jedi Rocks is ridiculous, but i have a thing for half-dressed blue chicks NO SIN.

MISSING “NO TWI’LEK LAPDANCE IN THIS SCENE.” MAJOR SIN.

A multiprong system for infiltrating the Palace is smart, But just didn’t come off right. Not a Sin.

Wind chimes-Sin validated. Sleeping entourage in main audience chamber, Sin Validated.

Unstealthy Leia is unstealthy, Sin Validated.

I played a 2600. Reaching for a sin is reaching.

Leia’s delays and insistence on talking are keys that kept them from leaving. Sin Validated.

There’s always time for a make out session. NO SIN WITH 1983 CARRIER FISHER.

Jabba is smarter than the leader of the Rebellion. Sin validated.

Jabba being turned on by human and human like women is more likely a vulgar display of power over everyone, and not something sexual; that said, it’s goddamned creepy, so Sin Validated.

Chewie and Han have nothing to work with and one is blind. No Sin.

Some things just don’t translate. Haven’t you ever watching Telemundo? Additionally, Huttese, not Tuttese.

Luke ignoring warning is ridiculous. Sin Validated.

Jabba didn’t do anything. His henchman did. Aside from that, it seems unlikely Luke, newly minted Jedi Knight, would inaugurate his first really important mission with a flat out murder. The blaster was clearly for intimidation. (it didn’t work, but NO SIN.)

Questioning the presence of a lightsabre is not as clever as you think. Last we saw he lost his on Bespin. No Sin.

Fine enough point about the lightsabre and the Rancor, but look at the last evaluation. No Sin.

You really think a Rancor has enough of a mind to trick? No Sin.

bad editing between the bone going in the mouth and restricting the mouth is bad. Sin validated.

The pen has to be cleaned somehow-You think Jabba wants 5 foot piles of Rancor shit wafting up to his throne room? No Sin.

Gate Ex Machina seems to be the case, but why would the Rancor pen only be that one section? The boy needs room! NO SIN!

Luke doesn’t even need to sling the skull with The Force He just plain forgot he could trip a simple switch directly. Sin Validated.

Joe camel is funny, but irrelevant. No Sin.

Sarlacc timeframe is relevant. Sin validated. but for dramatic purposes, it’s more intimidating to say 1000 years. Sin Retracted.

Irrelevant bantha party is irrelevant. Sin validated.

Bar2D2 is something I want to buy. Sin Excused.

Yes, Han’s perspective on Lando is 100%. But he trusts Luke. Sin Inconclusive.

Han trusts Luke, but they have no resources-at the Death Star they had ships and back up. Sin understood but not excused.

Walking the plank is a time honored tradition. No Sin.

Lightsabre sequence could definitely be quicker. Can’t find a way around it. Sin Validated.

“Tattooine Wilhelms” amuses me. Sin Validated.

Henchman are notorious shots, and the movie is less than 1/3 done. Movie ending aim would end movie. Sin acknowledged, not validated.

Boba Fett’s aim inexcusable. Sin acknowledged, not validated.

Boba Fetts’ death=MAJOR SIN.

Sarlacc didn’t shoot first. What did we say about wells earlier? Stop it. NOT VALIDATED

Convenient magnets are convenient. Sin Validated.

Han’s accounting not excused. Poor Math. Sin Validated.

Stormtrooper concerns on who they threw in with validated.

We see later that yes, there are “The Trials”. It is outside of the scope of this film though, so Sin acknowledged, not excused.

I agree the obfuscation on Luke’s parentage went on way too long. Always seemed silly. Sin Validated.

HOWEVER. It’s safe to assume there would be some mental and spiritual discipline taught if the training went on, so maybe, just maybe he would have been able to handle the father-bomb better. SIN INCONCLUSIVE.

In the strictest sense, people are only Force Sensitive until they are trained as Jedi. This is not necessarily obvious until you review the initial Yoda hut conversation. “I can be a Jedi!” meaning he isn’t one yet.  This viewpoint does not require anything outside of the film to support it. NOT A SIN.

Incomplete revelation is incomplete. Sin Validated.

This one is very sticky.

In real human life, people’s personalities can be shattered and rebuilt incompletely and very differently after severe trauma. They literally become different people. While Obi-Wan did not disclose the entire truth, what he did say was accurate. He obfuscated and beat around the bush,  but although his actions were indeed deliberate, they were not done out of malice. The Sin is valid with extenuating circumstances that make it more understandable in a fictional world, but the best I can say is inconclusive in it’s severity.

This is hairsplitting. Qui-Gon died before the training could begin, so yes, Obi-Wan volunteered to take Anakin on. It’s also irrelevant, as this would not be revealed for decades in real time. Sins are supposed to be contained in the film itself, under Cinema Sins own rules. Not a Sin.

I agree that that film skips over all the Expanded Universe stuff with Luke going to Obi-Wan’s Tattooine hut, reading his writings, finding holocrons, etc, since none of that was established yet except for deleted scenes. We’re expected to take it as read he got training somehow, and that is a Sin that can be validated, but as a sacrifice to movie runtimes and story flow, It’s hard to call this a Sin. Validated but excused.

Yes yes. impure thoughts about your sister. Back to the well. Not a Sin.

In 1983 i was not old enough to make the connection with their two kisses and any eww factor. Not till later. Sin Excused.

Main reactor shield requirement agreed upon. Sin Validated.

Stealing is an Excused Sin in Intergalactic Civil War.

The Hallway, and Jedi sense. Fuck you. Sin Excused.

No, he looks like he just lost a cat. Sin Excused.

It’s a bit of a stretch that there is anyone above the Emperor. Advisors are common in leadership positions. Not a Sin. Reaching for a sin is reaching.

You don’t think the rebels would use the same name the Shuttle was christened under do you? No Sin.

Incorrect. No Sin.

R2 clearly is gliding across the forest floor, visually. No sin.

Don’t be ridiculous. I vehicle that size for four people? Reaching for a Sin is Reaching.

Toys are a good bet, but have you seen a Stormtrooper sit, ever? Beyond a Dewback? Clunky armor is clunky. Ill fitted to speeder bikes. No Sin.

“Go for help” before commlink blocked, Sin-Validated.

Sin NOT validated, why wouldn‘t a military vehicle of that advanced technology be capable of radio jamming? You don’t offer why it’s such a bad thing.

He needed the bike. Not a Sin.

Speeder bikes are highly maneuverable, but not that maneuverable. Not a Sin

Ewok cuteness is not a sin.

Unfortunately statement about Jar Jars’ ancestry is probably valid. but only seen from the context of the Septology. TPM is still decades off, it is irrelevant to this film. Not a Sin.

Alien Endor Mooninite is hilarious. Not knowing Endor biology should be a sin, but mission prep may or may not have concluded that Ewoks had, say, “standard” metabolisms. Leia does not seem shocked to see the creature, as is common in fiction. Sin Inconclusive.

Quiet Stormtrooper is a Sin.

Fortune telling for a Sith of Palpatine’s capabilities would be an on-demand thing, so as soon as new information was obtained, he would look into the future to see how things might have changed. No Sin.

Plot convenience is convenient. Sin Sustained.

We don’t know what sensors R2 is using. Unless he’s using his Space Astromech droid Wolverine smelly sensors, this is nothing. Sin inconclusive.

Is there a “they think I’m a God Cliche?” I’ve missed it. Sin Inconclusive.

Not strictly because it’s lying, but more of a Prim Directive kind of thing. Not a Sin.

Dubba Dubba Dubba. Listen harder. Not a Sin. Funny, but not a sin.

Funny observation is funny, but Not a Sin.

Padded runtime in Ewok Village is tiresome. Sin Sustained.

The bigger sin that’s been skipped over is that the Ewoks refuse to cooperate with a God they’re about to cook people for. It’s dinner time, Divine Orders on hold! Sin Superseded for dumber Sin!

If Luke just untied the ropes, it’s likely the Ewoks would slaughter them instantly, friendship with Leia notwithstanding. not a Sin.

Padding the runtime is Padding. Sin Sustained.

Hell, *I* have memories of Natalie Portman. I take them out when I’m alone. Ohhhh.

Jedi are telepathic. Although it begs the question why Luke doesn’t, Leia clearly communicated in some way with her. None of this is relevant to this flick though, because Padme’s death is years away, real time. Not a Sin.

Padding the runtime is padding, although Sin is Excused for drama.

Sigh, yeah, in that scene. Give it up already.

Hiding the truth is hiding. Sin Sustained.

A character making a mistake is not necessarily a Sin.

The dialog is clunky, yes. Sin worthy? Sin Overruled.

Deleted scene, unfortunately sinnable not even given any exposition on it. Sin Sustained.

Taking the next three sins together, refer to the deleted scenes, but must Sustain the Sin as deleted scenes don’t count until reinserted.

Ugh, God, this has always bugged me. This is a very Sinnable Sin. I agree and cannot argu it in any fashion. There is nothing to back up that this is not a sin.

Imperial overkill is overkill. Sin Sustained for plot convenience.

Poor sound effect choice is poor. Sin Sustained. dammit.

You’re going a little too far back. It’s clear the Emperor means the current confrontation that should in his view, end the Rebellion. Reaching for a Sin is Reaching.

Deatils like that are less relevant than the fact the Rebellion would find the intelligence too tasty to resist; additionally, Madine only said that a shuttle was stolen, not when. Rules Lawyering is lawyering. Not a Sin.

The dual generator idea is great, and I support it, but movie ending alternative end movies. Not a Sin.

Han not blasted, Sin Sustained. dammit.

Doesn’t pass the “Yeah So? test. If I can validly say “Yeah, So?” to anything YOU say, It’s not a sin. Pilot Roll Call Not a Sin. if you had said PILOT ROLL CALL! in the MST3K cadence, I’d be behind you.

We don’t see what’s happening behind the Falcon. There’s probably half a squadron gone already. Unsustainable presumption is unsustainable.

OK. This is the Single Biggest Concept in the whole Septology everyone, and I mean everyone, keeps missing. Strap in motherfuckers. It’s not simply killing that turns you towards the dark side. It’s ridiculous to say it’s that simple. The Dark Side is quicker, easier, more seductive. When power is obtained too cheaply, there is no respect for it. When power is not tempered by humility, a sense of Justice, and appreciation for others and ideals bigger than your own glory, satisfaction, and survival, the worst types of base instincts come to the fore. See how callously, casually Vader kills. He doesn’t think any other being is worth as much as him, so he ends their lives without comment or regret. The very Unifying Agency of the universe bends to his Will, so why should his will not be supreme? This is why killing in anger, using The Force to do it, is forbidden to Jedi. The core tenet of the Order was Service-not self satisfaction. When that’s lost, your original personality gets twisted so horribly that it is, for all intents and purposes, lost forever. Imagine what Vader would do, had neither Luke or Leia been saved-had there been no more tempering force that could reach the last vestiges of Anakin’s soul, shriveled and hidden and scarred, far beneath the black armor of Vader. Who would he not subjugate, who would he not crush, who would he not enslave, who would he not kill to get what he wants? I realized this, in much simpler terms, when I first saw ESB and ROTJ. It took years till I was able to properly codify it in such terms, but if an adolescent can get it, with nothing but the flicks themselves to work from, the expanded universe a decade away,  the guys at Cinema Sins can.  Take any other sin along these lines in this video as invalid.

No reason not to kill them, except maybe further intelligence on the Rebellion. ohhhhh….No Sin.

No, you only saw one because the Stormtrooper’s head was in the way. The way this scene is cut, there’s no reason the commander couldn’t see R2. No Sin.

As to any Sin related to the Ewok attack: 1) the arrows don’t need to pierce the armor. There’s open spots all over that armor.  No one said the Stormtroopers merely getting knocked over where out for the count. Would you agree Ewoks are only a little smaller than chimps? Chimps are fuckin strong, man. A down Stormtrooper is over if there’s multiple Ewoks on him. Dropped rocks on walkers: you work with what you have. You try getting hit with a rock from 30 feet and not tumble over. No One showed us dead Stormtroopers yet.

It IS recycled footage from ANH. Sin Sustained.

Accents, man. Who cares? Minor Sin.

Cover is minimal at best, as seen when Leia gets it in a minute.

Back to the Death Star answer in ANH: USB, motherfucker! industry standard hardware!

Smugglers, man. Not a Sin.

Without knowing the Death Star’s firing arc, this would seem to be prudent-until the Star Destoyers moved to intercept. So eh. Valid, but irrelevant and easily explained.

The Emperor’s gloating and taunting is what happens when you’re arrogant and self assured in victory. Sin, but Excused.

Funny, but again, they have to work with what they have. No Sin.

Oh yeah, just try it before an AT-ST gets in place. No Sin!

Valid Sin for clumsy walker.

Han-well, yeah. Sin.

Go back to the incredibly important paragraph above RE: the Dark Side. NO SIN.

Yoda’s damn powerful. He could obfuscate his presence. We see Luke doing it in just a few seconds. Vader’s 4 feet away but can’t sense him. And again, why would Vader not assume Yoda had died? Luke doesn’t correct him at any point. No Sin.

Identification protocols are a good point. Sin Sustained.

Abandoning crucial military resources is a pretty bad idea with a battle raging outside. Keeping back forces is Not a Sin.

Eh. Motherfucking Palpatine DO WHAT HE WANT, BABY! NO SIN!

It’s not been established, beyond “size matters not” that an object that size could be manipulated by a neophyte Jedi. You’d sin it to hell if he had. Not a Sin.

Why wouldn’t you give The Emperor, Badass of All Known Space, a Secret Weapon? You’re being obtuse now. No Sin.

Palpatine only waited like two more seconds before going to town on Luke. No Waiting Sin here.

Again, it wasn’t a matter of simply killing them. It was killing them in passion, unthinking. If Luke could do it dispassionately, he’d be fine. Don’t mistake dispassion for cold blooded. No Sin.

Gravity decides is cliche.

Difficult to argue the paths big enough for fighters. They were never meant to be accessed from outside at high speeds, and many ships are lost or damaged. It’s not easy, so it’s an Excusable Sin.

You tried that joke last movie, and it wasn’t a Sin then.

Definitely an inconsistency in the criteria for Force Ascension. Sin Sustained.

Convenient get away is convenient. But to say Luke doesn’t know there’s a battle raging outside is ludicrous. No Sin.

The magic of editing is the only reason for this Sin, but unfortunately cannot be explained any other way. Sin Sustained.

Nope. Reaching a little bit. Feelings are hardly controllable.

Matter-of-fact revelation is off, but not Sinnable.

ZOMG STOP GOING BACK TO THE MED BAY WELL. NO SIN.

Superfluous CGI is Superfluous.

We see Gungans, not Jar Jar. Stop. Just Stop. Irritating but Not a Sin.

Ending song is irrelevant, but not a Sin.

Sustaining the Sin for Hayden Christensen as Force Ghost. It’s dumb.